Well it has been a very long time... Longer then even my normal slacking self. I have been putting my blog off for so long because I am kind of trying to sort myself out.
I feel as if I am being pulled in a million different directions trying to figure out what is next for me.
Today however I made the first step... The first step to changing my life.
Aside from that life altering news... I am also extremely home/family sick. I miss my family and feel as if Kaylee, along with myself and Jordon are missing out on so many things being so far away from them at this point in our lives. Of course this is something that we are hoping to change in the near future, but moving across country isn't the easiest thing to accomplish over night.
Also- some wonderful news.... Jordon and I shared our wedding day with our family on the beaches of Punta Cana on April 8th 2011. It was absolutely incredible. I wouldn't have changed a thing at all. It was intimate and sunny, short and sweet and shared with all the people we love.
Married life is exactly what I thought it would be.... The same as it has been for the last few years! haha!
Jordon and I have been together for 10 years, so we have learned each others habits, changed with each other, grown with each other and been through some of the biggest experiences of our lives together. Standing on a beach and saying our vows to each other was amazing, however our lives remain simple and full of love.
So with all that being said, I am now going to give you a little something about my little girl. Kaylee is now a little girl.... In the last couple months, she has learned a handful of new words, she learned to crawl out of her crib, she learned the art of charming the pants off everyone who looks at her and she learned that she really likes the word "No".
Life has been incredible watching Kaylee grow each and every day! Her vocabulary consists of;
and the famous "No"
I know every parent must say it when they watch their child, but my goodness she is smart. She knows exactly what she wants and if she doesn't know the word, tries her very best to communicate it in some other way. Makes my whole heart smile watching her.
A couple of weeks ago however, I experienced another feeling. I was laying in bed and heard that awful "thump" come from Kaylee's room. I didn't hear any cry but ran in and found her standing there looking up at me with a great big grin. Well that was the end of the crib. I have the convertible crib, so it is now a day bed with the safety bars on it. See Picture here.
So this has brought on its new set of challenges. 2am...*beating on her bedroom door* followed by a "mommyyyyyyy". I reply "Go back to bed Kaylee". She understands and most times goes and gets back in bed, however she tends to go through the get in bed, get out of bed process a number of times before actually going to sleep. Aside from that, it has been a fairly easy process.... For her... I on the other hand am having a hard time watching my little girl crawl into her very own big girl bed....
Well, that's all for today. It seems I may have some time on my hands very soon, so I will try and get back into this. I appreciate any of my readers who still come and check in from time to time and I apologize for the lack of blogging.
Have a wonderful day!
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Thursday, March 17, 2011
|Kaylee and Poppa Bear|
|Happy little girl with her Poppa Bear|
|Cousin Jaron is getting so big!!|
This however was not the case.
Glen Doole "Do you still have all of my information from when I flew you home at Christmas? My airmiles is..."
|Hanging out with supper on the kitchen floor.|
We spent the day enjoying each others company, laughing, playing with Kaylee and having a few cocktails. Saturday morning we did a little bit of shopping and then I was recruited to get Jackie out of the house so Mom could get ready for the party. I left Kaylee with Mom and Dad and we headed out to a little pub for a few drinks. A few of our friends met us and we sat and laughed for a few hours. We laughed so hard that my face hurt! I haven't laughed that hard in ages! Of course the cocktails helped with that process! One of my closest childhood friends Melanie was there with us, in on the plan of course and my goodness it reminded me of how simple life was when we were kids. Jackie's close friend Joanne was also there to enjoy the day. We headed home to find a house full of people! Jackie was again surprised and happy to enjoy all of the company! We all had a fantastic time! My Mom sure knows how to throw an amazing party!
|My little girl growing up!|
I hate this feeling... The feeling in the pit of your stomach that is yelling at you and crying at the same time.... The part that is saying "WHY MEEEEEE!!!" and the other part that calmly and rationally states "stop feeling sorry for yourself. You are a lucky person. You have so much to be grateful for.".
I have begun working the back shift... By this I mean going into work at 11pm, when your body is fighting with you to go to bed and working until 7:30am when your body is usually getting ready to head out the door for the "normal" working shift.
My position is a 24 hour a day, 7 day a week position. There is a proper rotation and everyone does there turns doing early shifts and late shifts. I took on the back shift to avoid working shifts that would run into the evening when I get those valuable few hours with Kaylee.
I thought it was a brilliant idea. Work when she is sleeping, Jordon could take her to daycare in the morning while I sleep, I pick her up in the afternoon and have the late afternoon and evening at home.
This is how I had it planned in my head however it is so much harder then that. I have never been much of a napper or day time sleeper. Even when Kaylee was born and colicky and everyone said "sleep when she sleeps", I had trouble sleeping. It made for a very long 10 weeks. I somehow feel, 14 months later that I am going through this again. I am having a lot of difficulty sleeping through the day. It is not the light but more the sound. And the mental clock in my head telling me it is beautiful outside and I could be washing my floors, changing the bed sheets, doing the laundry or walking the dogs. The way it has been working out, I have been coming home around 8am, tidying a few small things before crawling in bed. Sleep is light but I am able to sleep until about 12:30 ish. This leaves me with roughly 4 hours sleep. During that sleep, the phone has rung 3 times, the dogs have barked at kids passing by outside and I have reached out to touch Jordon who is clearly not there.
The first couple days... Not too bad... A few days later... A sick babysitter... Ok, I can handle this... Worked all night with 4 hours sleep the day before but sure... I can do this. Kaylee and I play and spend the day together. I do nap when she naps from 1:30-3pm. Jordon comes home early and relieves me of Mommy duty so I can get a few hours sleep before heading back to work. I sat at work and thought of my bed and the brand new sheets I had put on. 6:30am... I am almost there... 1 hour to go and I am off to bed...
BlackBerry Messenger Message "Jaym, call me"
Turns out babysitter is still sick and I am going to be Super Mom again... I put my head down on my desk and I actually cried for a minute. The exhaustion took over and I just couldn't help it.
I remember doing this when Kaylee was 5 weeks old and I had not slept for more then 40 minutes at a time. I remember sitting and crying. Calling my Mom and telling her she needed to fly out and take care of Kaylee because I just couldn't do it.
Jordon had a morning meeting but promised to come home as soon as it was over so I would be able to sleep. It just so happened my neighbour and good friend Kerry was off work for the day and thank goodness. She took Kaylee for the morning for me. Let me tell you... I slept. I slept well. I slept well for 5 hours before getting up and enjoying the rest of the afternoon with my little girl.
The weekend was tough. Going from being up all night to trying to go to bed at night to spend the days with Kaylee, but I managed. Back shift began once again on Monday and I seemed to be getting the hang of it. Tuesday night... Halfway through my shift I get a call... Kaylee has been up screaming and will not sleep. Jordon has been doing really great stepping up to the plate since I have been doing the back shift but I have always taken on night duty and it was me she wanted as she cried and screamed.... Not Daddy. I had to leave work to head home. We rocked and sang until 4:30am before she finally fell asleep. The next morning off to daycare she went while Momma went to bed. 10:30- ring ring ring. I ignore it. 10:45 ring ring ring... ignore it again... 11am still ringing. I finally get up to check and it is my babysitter. She is sure Kaylee must have an ear infection because she will not eat, will not sleep and will not stop screaming. I get myself up and head out to get her. We head to the walk in clinic and the doctor tells me matter of factly that her ears look good, her throat looks good and there appears to be nothing wrong with her...
I succumb to the desire of greasy McDonald's which I have avoided for the last few months for the purpose of fitting into my wedding dress and head home...
At 3pm Kaylee finally lays down for a nap and Mommy does the same. I had a good hour of sleep and then we were up going about our usual play routine. She was much whinnier and clingier... Teeth maybe? That's the only thing I can think of... But nothing seems to pacify her but me...
So this is me... Feeling sorry for myself. Going through the "WHY ME!!!!!!" in my head....
Being a full time working Mom is hard... Being a night working Mom may just be harder...
Why is it that life can't just be simple and boring and full of no surprises? Just for a little while?
Everyday there is a new hurdle... Sometime they are so big I am not sure I can get over them... Others are the small ones that make me feel like Super Mom. But right now... I am definitly not feeling like Super Mom. I am feeling Super Defeated....
Well, thanks for letting me vent and checking in on me. I promise I will write something more positive tomorrow!
After all I have wedding details to share as well as our last minute surprise trip to Toronto to share with everyone!
Have a great day, and thanks again for reading my rant...
Monday, February 28, 2011
Hey Everyone! I am writing again only a few days after my last post! Can you believe it!!! Well, I have been reading a lot of new blogs lately and was feeling motivated to share our busy weekend with you!
|My Little girl is such a flirt!|
Since being back at work, I have been lucky enough to have most Fridays off. Instead of tacking on my vacation from my year off, I decided to use a vacation day every Friday to give me a long weekend. This has worked out wonderfully and made the transition much better. So Friday morning, after sending Kaylee off to daycare with her Daddy, I crawled back into bed and slept like a baby for another 2 hours. When I first crawled back into bed, I felt guilty... I should get up and start my chores, walk the dogs or do my work out video....Instead... I snuggle in just a little deeper and drift off.
|Enjoying an Oreo cookie.|
|Getting ready for bed..|
Saturday morning we let Daddy sleep in while we played and ate breakfast. It was rather chilly out so we decided against a walk but rather a drumming session on the pots and pans! This was a wonderful way to wake up Daddy in a hurry. hahaha!
|Mommy and Kaylee|
At this party there was also a great big Elmo. Kaylee took quite a liking to him as well, however from a distance. She stood and stared at him, even got close enough to touch him a few times, but the second I tried to put her on his lap for a photo, the scream and tears began. Needless to say, we did not get a photo with Elmo other then a few of her starring at him in aww.
|Meeting Elmo... she wanted to look but the moment he reached out to hold her, the water works started!|
|"No more kisses Mom"|