Alright everyone... I am sort of having a melt down... Tomorrow Jordon and I have plans to attend our good friends Scott and Lindsey's wedding. It is a couple hours away and it would be the first time I would ever be leaving Kaylee..........
I have spoken about going out before- you know, an hour here, a few hours there. Generally it is after she has gone to bed, or Jordon is home with her. I have never left her from 2pm to noon the following day. I have never left her over night and I have never been away from her that long, let alone that far away.
Needless to say I am having a lot of trouble with it. Jenn and Jonny who I have spoken about on here before have so kindly offered to take Kaylee for the night. I have been A OK with this until this morning. Suddenly I have the overwhelming desire to not let her out of my site. I sound like a crazy person don't I? I know I do and I can't even help it. I thought maybe blogging about it and venting to the people I love that read my blog would help. I am hoping that all you Mom's are going to tell me this is completely normal and not to worry. I am not irrational, just a typical Mom... Right?!?!?!
After all it is healthy for Jordon and I to enjoy an evening out together, carefree of baby and focus on us. It is healthy for Kaylee to not "need" me there at every moment of her life...Right?
So, last night I had a nightmare that something happened to Kaylee while we were gone, and as I was at the wedding, 2 hours away, drinking and having a good time, I could not get to her. I believe this is what started my anxiety this morning. I woke up almost in tears. I could feel it taking over all my rational thoughts. I spoke to Jenn and she did a great job telling me everything would be fine. She even offered to stay at the house here, instead of us bringing Kaylee into their place if it would make me feel better. I think this would help me tremendously. Knowing Kaylee is in her own comforts- her own bed, her own toys, her dogs, her highchair- etc... The only thing different is no Mommy and Daddy. This however leaves me feeling guilty. I had already arranged for another friend to stay at the house to watch the dogs. So Adele has already cancelled her Saturday night plans to dog sit. What a mess. Not to mention the added pressure on Jenn to now not be in her own home, and spend a night away from her little girl!
WHY IS BEING A MOM SO HARD!!!!!!!!!!
***Kaylee and Daddy's first picture together... 1 Day old***
Ok, that is my rant.... In other news... Kaylee is now 8 months old. Tuesday she had her 8 month birthday. 8 entire months. Where has the time gone. Now I am sitting here thinking, oh my goodness, I have to go back to work soon! Wow! I better get over this separation anxiety pretty quick huh!
Kaylee has grown so much over the last 8 months. From and infant to baby to a little girl! She is baa, baa, baa'ing, daa, daa, daa'ing but not quiet Maa, maa, maa'ing. She is standing, she is crawling (quickly). She has learned the word no, she has learned the word up, she claps, she throws tantrums, she laughs! She is amazing.... And she is my little girl!!!
Anyways, that's enough of my emotional spill for one day! Enjoy a few pics, and pleasssssse! A little comment and feedback would be great!
***Kaylee and Mommy's first picture together***
Have a wonderful day!
Jaymie
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