Called out!

Well, a few people have called me out on the fact that I have not been keeping up with my blog. Its been almost a week and I haven't posted a thing. So here I am.

I have had a lot of mixed feelings in the last few days and maybe that is why I have been hesitant to write. That and the fact that I hate to sound repetitive.

I have been having trouble with that whole issue you read about as an "expecting mom" but never think you will fall into that category. Issue: resentment.

I hate to say it.... I hate to say that I am resentful but I am not sure what else it could be at this point. Maybe I am feeling the way I am because we have finally settled into a routine (which I need in my life), but maybe this routine isn't enough. Jordon gets to get up every morning and goes to work- I know it is work but it is something away from home which he gets to engage in. I get up each morning around 7am and begin my routine.

Put bottle on, put kettle down, make bed, change diaper, feed Kaylee, put her in today's outfit, tidy up whatever mess is left behind from the night before, figure out what I will cook for dinner, tend to Kaylee, tackle a daily chores, prepare supper, tend to Kaylee, take car of dogs, cook supper, tidy up, bath Kaylee, feed Kaylee, put her down to bed, 8pm.. finally a little me time- maybe fold some laundry, write my blog (occasionally I know), crawl in bed, read and pass out waiting for the 3am wake up.

Most days, there is nothing I love more then spending my days with my little girl and making sure that my home is the way I like it. Other days, I feel like I miss socializing with adults, I miss getting out of the house on a daily basis. So when Jordon comes home and wants to have a shower and wind down from his 12hour work day, I want him to take Kaylee so I can have time without having to worry about her fussing or needing me. Now Jordon is generally fantastic but there are nights when he to is tired and wants to relax. These are the nights I resent him and want to go back to work and get away from being house wife. I don't know. Maybe this is just me venting because it was a rough day where Kaylee just wanted to scream, we have company and trying to keep my house tidy, cook supper, deal with a cranky baby just seems too much.

Regardless...Onto a wonderful topic... Kaylee is developing at an amazing rate. I cannot believe how fast things are changing. When I lean over and look down at her and say "tell me a story, she smiles and starts coo'ing, caw'ing and going on and on about whatever is in that little head of hers. She has found her voice and is using it for something other then crying. Its quite frankly the most adorable thing I have ever heard!

She is now wearing clothes for 3-6 months which boggles me but she won't stop getting taller so onto the bigger clothes we go.

Our weekend was very quiet. The weather was kind of crummy so we didn't go to far. Jordon and I did venture out and about around the city to find a new pair of sneakers. We both did find nice Saucony shoes. They are comfy and new shoes always look good :)

Other then that, I have been back on my baby bulge battle. Elliptical everyday as well trying to just walk with the dogs. Last night I really felt like I wanted to do more and get out of the house, so I went to the rec center for a swim. I swam 45 laps until my legs hurt to go further. I was a fish as a child and truly enjoyed swimming. I know what good cardio it is and have considered starting to do it on a more regular basis. 2 problems... $130 for a 3 month pool pass.... seems a little pricey to me... Also, my hair... Chlorine is not good for hair... How do you save it?

Tonight instead of a swim, I opted for a walk with Amanda and the dogs around the street. It was nice to get out of the house again and vent to her. We have a wonderful way of being able to just say whatever we think, knowing we will never be judged. That's really special.

In other news, we have company this week. Grampa arrived yesterday and will be spending a week with us and Aunty Cheryl and Uncle JR arrive tomorrow night to stay a few days. It will be the first time we have all been together which will be nice.

So for any Mom's out there reading that have some insight into my mood swings, leave a comment and tell me what you think. Again, some days I can think of nothing better then what being a stay at home Mom could be like and others I am just lost at being home now. Argggg.

Until I write again! Enjoy some pictures. Haven't taken too many in the last few days...

First Needles.......

Well... I have heard the horror stories about baby's getting their needles... "Remember to give them Tylenol, they may be fussy afterwards, they may get sick".... Never do they say your heart will break as you watch you baby hurt in pain.

Kaylee has cried so much in the last 9 weeks (yes 9 weeks today), that I was sure I could feel every emotion towards her tears that were possible- upset, confused, angry etc.... Never have I felt as I did today. We went through her regular check up. She registers in the 97th percentile for her height. The doctor could not believe how long she is, next- her weight in 11.2lbs- this registers in the 56th percentile. Now her head. I am not sure how many people know, but throughout my pregnancy there were many complications (or so we thought) as Kaylee was registering in the 4th percentile for her size and her head size. I was told to expect a 5lb baby with a small head. Well, she came out a whooping 7lbs 14 oz and her head was in the 66th percentile. Maybe the percentiles sticks because I heard so much about it throughout my pregnancy. Anyways, the point being, she may have been small, but she caught up just fine. Now her head is 1 cm smaller then it "should" be. Yes, I said 1cm. Apparently we should stay on top of this and will be going back to monitor the growth regularly. My theory is that this little girl has a mind of her own and grows when she wants to. That being said- she is TALLLLL! This explains a few things. First- she is out growing her 3 month old sleepers, as they are too short. And second.. The doctor said this could be a reason she is so fussy. She may be having more growing pains then most infants this age because she is growing so tall.

That being said... after the check up, she told me to get Kaylee dressed except for her pants where she would be receiving 1 needle in each leg. She asked me to hold her for comfort as she administered the needles. I held my little girl, who was at this point, happy as a clam, looking up at me. Then the doctor stabbed her with the needle with more force then I deemed necessary. Kaylee looked up at me, waiting for the cry, letting her little hazel eyes fill up with tears before letting the screams fill the air. And this is when you cue Mummys eyes fill up and try and keep control of herself while consoling the baby. Flip her over and do the same in the other leg... My heart is aching. I know it sounds cheesy, but you know at that moment your child is not crying to be fussy, or just to be held, or any of the other things she may want.... Instead she is crying because she is actually in pain. This killed me. When it was over the doctor put 2 little bandaids over her slighting bleeding needle points and I tried to rock my little girl to calm down. Man. Talk about traumatized. LOL I told Jordon he was going to be taking her for her 4 month shots. How terrible.

Anyways, we left the doctors office with a little dose of Tylenol and a bottle. She calmed down in the car and so Amanda and I went to Costco. I love/hate Costco. Our relationship is far to one sided and costs me too much money- lol. I never leave without spending 200 bucks. I went in for my favorite Costco anti-bacterial wipes and left with far more. I know its always a great deal and that is how I justify it. I did also get 3 ADORABLE dresses for the summer for Kaylee. Anyways, she wasn't feeling up to par so we came home and I decided to try and entertain her to keep her awake as she did look sleepy (I am assuming from the Tylenol) but I didn't want her falling asleep at 4pm and then up all night. So we put on a comfy sleeper, played on the play mat, tried out the ExcerSaucer, had some supper, then a bath before I finally let her dose off around 7:30.

I hope she feels ok tomorrow. Toby has also become very protective over Kaylee.... God save anyone who ever tries to hurt that little girl. He is usually not farther then a couple feet away from her at all times. Its kind of adorable actually.

So now I sit, after a long day, having a glass of wine. I am trying to forget about the fact that today seems very overwhelming to me and that I am not a HUGE sooky baby! LOL. Hopefully some good tv and a book will wind me down for the day!

Down in the dumps!

Well, I know my blog has been all bright and cheery but today is a little blah. I should start out first by probably saying that I had a wonderful weekend. The weather was stunning. Jordon and I worked on our back yard and the garden, I scrubbed the BBQ down to look brand new again while Jordon washed my car. By early afternoon Saturday our neighbours stopped by. Wonderful people but I just wanted to get my yard work done. Needless to say the garden was half done and put on hold while we socialized. Kaylee was far to eager not to miss a thing and did not sleep. She watched our neighbours little girl intently as she played. A couple hours and beers later they went home and our other neighbours whom we often hang out with came by. Kaylee- still refusing to sleep around supper time as we still had company was beginning to get cranky. I invited our neighbours Scott and Lindsay for supper and we had a lovely BBQ.

As if right on cue, Kaylee started to scream as I sat down to eat. I bathed her while Jordon ate and then he dressed and fed her while I ate. At this point I am thinking, ahh, its 8:30, I am going to put the baby down and relax. Well, the company did not end here. Scott's parents came over to see the baby and stayed until just after 11. Kaylee- you guessed it, still refused to sleep. Eventually everyone left and I placed her in her crib to cry and she was asleep within minutes. The sheer exhaustion of the day was too much to handle.

We were in bed early and because she went down late, she was up once through the night and then slept until 8am. What a treat.

Anyway, Sunday I asked Jordon if we could try and keep our day a littler quieter. He happily agreed and finished turning up the garden and tidying the yard for me. We had a wonderful pork tenderloin supper and were in bed very early. Kaylee also seemed tired and was in bed by 7:30.

She seems to be starting the habit of not allowing herself to sleep during the day at all. For a while she was allowing herself to have cat naps... This seems to be a thing of the past. I would be completely happy with her being awake all day if she would start sleeping through the whole night. Last Friday it seemed as if we had back tracked to week 2 of bringing her home. She was up every 2 hours. I really was not happy and was cranky about the whole situation.

Anyways, today is a Monday.... Jordon went back to work, which means I am flying solo at home and I just felt as if I was not in the mood to be a Mom today. I know how awful that must sound, but really.... I wasn't feeling hot and wanted to curl up with a blanket, sleep and read. I know those days are long behind me and usually I am utterly happy with what I have in return, however today... I was just wishing to have no responsibilities for the day. OF course because I wished this, Toby (my Boxer) was sick- 3 times, Kaylee fussed all afternoon and Jordon worked late.

Anyway, its now 8:30, Kaylee is in her crib- laying there wide awake but not fussing in the slightest :)

I am very happy that the day is over and I know I will wake up tomorrow with a new outlook on things. We are after all, entitled to a day now and then to be cranky right? Here's a couple pictures of Kaylee in her bouncy chair. She holds herself up quite fine but has not found her balance. If i tuck her in, then she sits there very content- for a period of time anyways. I also throwing a picture of my plants which are starting to sprout!!

8 Weeks Old

Wow! Where does the time go. I feel like days are flying by and weeks seem like a blur.

Yesterday was Kaylee's 2 month birthday. I had a big debate with Jordon over whether 2 months should be the 21st of every month or the fact that exactly 8 weeks ago yesterday I had her. I say it should be 8 weeks ago I had her and that makes her 2 months old.

Regardless. Yesterday was a good day which is nice considering she has been quite cranky this week. We went to the dollar store in the afternoon with Amanda, a little drive to calm her down afterwards and then home to relax until Daddy came home. Once he arrived home we had supper and went to Walmart.

She slept 6 straight hours last night which was fantastic. I really do appreciate sleep in a whole different way!

Today we were also busy. In our backyard, Jordon and I built a huge garden 2 years ago when we first moved in. Last summer we had to rip the yard apart to put in a french drain, and with the expense of that we did not get to the back garden. I simply focused on the front and left the back alone.

Well this year I want to get in there. The problem is that flowers cost money and that is a very large garden (not to mention the fact that I still have a large front garden). My brilliant idea was to start a whole bunch of seeds inside the house and then transplant them outside when it is time. A packet of seeds costs about $1.00, give or take and buying the flowers is much more. So I am hoping it works. Here is what my little flower experiment looks like right now.

In other news, other then that garden which makes me feel very Martha Stewart- lol.
Today was another incredible day! Jordon always gets off work early on Friday's and so we were very happy to see him home shortly after 3 this afternoon. When he got home and we sat and had a beer together, discussed the day and how Kaylee had been, and then decided to go for a walk.
We loaded Kaylee up into the stroller and Jordon grabbed a hold of the dogs and off we went. It was lovely. Enjoying the weather, my hubby, baby and dogs. I literally thought this afternoon how lucky I was. Life could not get too much better. If only my family was here, life would be pretty darn close to perfect!

This evening has been another story however! LOL. You knew that I couldn't write a whole blog about how perfect life was right?!?! hehehe. Anyways, Kaylee had 2 MEGA barfs and was cranky all night. I am not sure if her belly was upset or what was going on but she was not so happy. Everytime I tried to put her down she screamed. If I held her she would stop. So this resulted in me walking around with her all night without putting her down. Its now 9pm and she finally let me put her in her crib without waking up screaming. This was after all the third attempt.

Its a Friday night and I am so tired. I wanted to socialize with neighbours and have a few drinks... But after the sun today, a few beer, cranky baby this evening and never enough sleep... I really want to crawl in bed with my book. Does this mean I am growing up? Or just getting boring??? hahaha! Anyway, tomorrows plan is to work on the back garden- prep it for when we can plant. Maybe I will have something interesting to say tomorrow!!! Have a great Friday night!

Happy St. Pattys Day!

Happy St. Patricks day everyone!!!!! I hope everyone is having a nice cold beer tonight and enjoying the holiday. I am going to be honest, even though my roots go back to Ireland, I never knew what the day was all about (other then a party). I heard today that Sir Patrick drove all the snakes off the island on this day. Interesting I suppose.

Anyways, today we had an awesome day! While Kaylee was up very, very early this morning, she slept well last night and therefore I didn't say a word. We met up with my friend Christine who had taken photos for us last week. We went for breakfast and chatted about everything under the sun. Twilight was a big topic... I refrained from beginning Eclipse last night because I knew if I started it, I would not want to put it down- therefore not getting any sleep last night. Anyways, we chatted about the series, other series of books, Kaylee of course then then her photos.

Now you know as soon as my food came to the table, Kaylee started to fuss. This seems to be a reacurring theme. I bounced her on my knee while she made all kinds of little noises and once Christine was finished, she rocked with her while I ate my breakfast.

Anyways, the photos turned out AMAZING! I could not be happier. I want to print and frame all of them. I will attach a few but if you want to see the others, you can just check them out on facebook if you haven't already.

After breakfast we decided to take advantage of the once again amazing weather. We went for a good long walk along the Sackville river in Bedford. It was awesome. The sun was shinning, I was sweating by the end and Kaylee still refused to sleep! She is too afraid to miss anything.

Anyways, after the walk we came home and Kaylee was super fussy. I bounced around, hummed, played and tried grinning and laughing. She was just in a mood and didn't want to be quiet at all. Anyways, this lasted a good portion of the afternoon before she finally dozed off around 4pm. She slept for a short hour while I dove into Eclipse. I didn't have too long at it before she was awake again, however Jordon and I had agreed I wasn't cooking tonight and we were going to have a simple supper. He came home and poured me a glass of wine (yum Naked Grape Shiraz) and we chit chatted for a while. I threw in some fish sticks and sweet potato fries for our supper. Kaylee had a lovely bath which she was even fussy at the end for. This never happens. She loves her bath however I think tonight she is simply over-tired. Not sleeping at all during the day and waking up at ten to six this morning made for a tired little girl. Anyways, I gave her a bottle and she is now sound sleep.

This means that Mummy can have have another glass of wine and read her book for a couple hours before I need to go to sleep :)

I am getting very excited for my trip to Toronto to see friends and family. I know it is a few months off but I have a lot of people I truly love there. I have my incredible family which I can't wait to see, but I also have wonderful friends. My girlfriend Chelsea has seen me through a lot of rough times and has also been excited for my visit. I am hoping we can really get to catch up while I am home. It feels like forever since we have been able to do that! Auntie Chelsea- here we come :p

Anyway, there is nothing on tomorrows agenda other then a trip to Walmart tomorrow night with Jordon. We need to get the basics- which all seem to be animal supplies- dog food, cat litter, cat food, Toby treats (because yes the dogs must have different treats-lol) etc, etc, etc.

Here are a couple of the amazing photos Christine took. If you are looking for a photographer or want to see more of her work, check it out at www.christinenewhook.com

Boring!

Well I didn't write yesterday because I have been quite boring lately and I don't want to write about the same thing everyday! Things are starting to fall into a routine and therefore the sames things are happening.
Yesterday my little fart of a daughter cried from 12:30 in the afternoon until 6:30 when I finally decided to give her a bath and start the bedtime routine early. She was down shortly after 7 and sleeping. Thank goodness. It always makes me wonder when she cries like that for so long.

I woke up this morning to her crying and when I went in she had the poop down her leg, up her back- everywhere. It was absolutely awful. I have never seen anything like it and that it what I am blaming yesterdays outburst on. Who wouldn't be upset if they were holding all of that in.

The other reason I have been boring is because when I do have a free moment to do something I have my head buried in the twilight series. I finished Twilight and moved on to New Moon yesterday morning and finished it this afternoon. Yikes, I don't think I have ever read so much in such a short time. Good thing I don't work or anything! Ha ha! Picture this- Kaylee bouncing around on Mommy's hip in the living room while she hum's and reads her book at the same time. LOL.

Anyways, other then that... I was talking to one of my friends Jenn who has a little one. Max is now 9 months old and they have put her in day care twice a week. WOW! Its hard to imagine but I should be thinking about these things already- so I am told anyways. How do you go about picking where you will place your child, considering of course, that they are spending more awake hours with these people then they are with you. I don't even want to think about it already.

Anyway, this summer I am also planning a trip to Toronto. This July I am going to drive down with Kaylee and spend a couple weeks there. Jordon will only get a few days off and therefore will fly down when he can.

My father hates the idea of me driving alone with the baby. I have made the trip a few times before on my own, however never with a baby. He wants to fly down and drive back with me... We just seem to keep having trouble agreeing on dates. Anyway, a plan is in motion. I think I will be just fine with her on my own... But of course Poppa Bear had to say something about that!

Anyway, the weather has been stunning, been walking everyday and the elliptical everyday however..... The Pilate's and me have taken a break. I will get back into it... As soon as I finish these books. It just seems like any time I have, I want to spend reading, definitely not straining my out of shape muscles. I justify it by saying I went for a walk outside with Kaylee and the dogs and did 20 minutes on the elliptical.... Excuses.... terrible. Regardless I have kept off 4 lbs. I haven't gone down anymore in the last 5 days but hopefully soon! LOL.

Sunday Sun!

What a gorgeous day! I feel so lucky to keep getting this incredible weather!I know however that tomorrow is supposed to rain very heavily and the sun will hide for a few days. For that reason we again took advantage of the weather today.

Jordon, as I had hoped got up with Kaylee this morning. She slept last night from 10-3:30 then was up at 7:30 to play with Daddy. It was nice. I enjoyed sleeping until just after 9am. What a treat.

Anyways, after this Jordon and I were not sure what we were going to do with the day. I made some grilled cheese sandwiches for brunch, we sat around the table with Kaylee and chit chatted.

Not long after she dozed off in her swing and I decided to dive into my book. Today, somehow between everything else I have done, I have almost finished the book. I will admit.... They are a good book and very difficult to put down.

Jordon went outside and decided to rake the front yard to make it look a little better. He also turned over the top layer of my garden. I cannot wait to get into the garden this year. I feel like I have the time now that I am off this summer to really make it look good.

Anyways, I read for a couple hours, in between playing with Kaylee, rearranging her in her swing, then moving to sit in the sun with her. At 3:30 Jordon and I went into the city to visit our friends Jenn, Jonny and their daughter Max. Jenn cuts Jordon's hair so well that he refuses to go anywhere else. We spent just over an hour there before we headed home to make supper.

I made simple pub grub tonight- some Cesar salad and chicken wings. Hit the spot :)

After this, Jordon cleaned up and I took Kaylee for a bath. It was nice, she always seems to enjoy this time the most. I find it amazing as over the last week or so she has began coo'ing and caw'ing a lot more. When I talk to her its as if she is talking back. I love it. What a little person she is becoming. Everyone keeps telling me that she is now looking more and more like Daddy and not so much Mommy. Geezzzzz!

Its now just after 8 (yes even with the time change) and she is down in her crib for the night. I am hoping to get 6 hours out of her but that's high hopes I suppose.

Anyway, nothing too exciting for the day, but who knows what tomorrow may bring!!!

I am attaching a picture of last years garden... Any ideas or suggestions for what I should do this year???